Teen Strategist Gifts

'My parents don't punish me anymore. The last time they did, I hid all the remotes.'

'Hacking into the school's computer and giving us a month off seemed like a good idea at the time, but I'm bored.'

"Today was career day at school and some guy handed these out. He said high school students should look at time as the most important."

"I've just barbecued my head again."

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

Will eat your homework for $.

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"Watch this! All the balls scattered at random around the table."

I rule by fear.

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

'Organisations that are not driven by the future quickly find themselves the dust of history,'

Global warming debate.

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"Be honest. Where do you see me in five years?"

"Last question. Where do you see yourself thirty seconds from now?"

'That's the bell for round two.'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

"Maybe I can be a campaign worker."

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

'I don't have a dog, but I do have a dog app that eats my homework.'

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'

I'm starting a lawn-mowing service instead of going to camp. Excellent. Can I have a loan to get started? What for? Gas can, tool cart, mower blade, sharpening and insurance in case I cut off my foot or someone's prized peony. Maybe we can afford summer camp. It's a bargain.