Student Strategist Gifts

'Junior doesn't know exactly when he's graduating from college, but he's able to offer increasingly educated guesses.'

'Who do I talk to about getting a student loan?'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Do your research!

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"How was work?"

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

How did you get your parents to send you to Costa Rica this summer, Ingrid? By almost flunking Spanish. That's dire. Hardly! I'll party and practice my accent. Next year�remind me to bring my French grade down. Si!

Good Luck!

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

"Watch this! All the balls scattered at random around the table."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

A man sitting in the grass reading

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"Last question. Where do you see yourself thirty seconds from now?"

Global warming debate.

'Organisations that are not driven by the future quickly find themselves the dust of history,'

'That's the bell for round two.'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'...All profits are local.'

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

"Be honest. Where do you see me in five years?"

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

"Maybe I can be a campaign worker."

'I don't have a dog, but I do have a dog app that eats my homework.'

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."