Schooling Strategist Gifts

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

"I'm not going to bother studying that section. I'm just learning to the test."

'That's the bell for round two.'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

A Puppet Named Juan

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Do your research!

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"How was work?"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

Good Luck!

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

Will eat your homework for $.

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

A man sitting in the grass reading

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

'...All profits are local.'

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

"Maybe I can be a campaign worker."