School Strategists Gifts

Only went to church so children could go to a good school

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

"Aren't you worried about what my parents, relatives, and neighbors will think about this school if you only give me an A-?"

A Puppet Named Juan

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'That's the bell for round two.'

'...All profits are local.'

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

'I don't have a dog, but I do have a dog app that eats my homework.'

'No. No. Don't bomb them now. Wait until morning, when the birds are singing and the air is alive with a sense of possibility.'

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

"Call it wishful thinking, but I don't think this peace will last. . . ."