School Strategists Gifts

Only went to church so children could go to a good school

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

"Aren't you worried about what my parents, relatives, and neighbors will think about this school if you only give me an A-?"

A Puppet Named Juan

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

Will eat your homework for $.

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

Eye Off the Ball

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'...All profits are local.'

'That's the bell for round two.'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

'I don't have a dog, but I do have a dog app that eats my homework.'

'No. No. Don't bomb them now. Wait until morning, when the birds are singing and the air is alive with a sense of possibility.'

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'