School District Strategist Gifts

Apt. for rent: Excellent school district - Student included.

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

Will eat your homework for $.

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

'That's the bell for round two.'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'...All profits are local.'

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

'I don't have a dog, but I do have a dog app that eats my homework.'

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

"I'm going to the school board meeting."

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

"I try to get a head start on them."

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'

Soccer Moms

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

Principal with 'budget cuts' in-tray and 'creative solutions' out-tray.