School Strategist Gifts

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'

Sure there's a way to discipline them. Yell at them.

'Yes, dad, I mis-spoke my math grade, covered-up my reprimand from the dean, and cheated on an English quiz, but I'm getting an A in political science.'

Principal with 'budget cuts' in-tray and 'creative solutions' out-tray.

'I don't have a dog, but I do have a dog app that eats my homework.'

'If I get a bad grade on a test, I wait until my mom is on the phone, then I show it to her.'

What say we save a tree, and skip the test?

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

'If he starts a sentence with 'Correct me if I'm wrong', don't!'

"How can I help my students become financially literate, when they're not even literate?"

"Judging by his smile, he must know we don't know how to check his grades online."

"I need the answers to tomorrow's history test."

'Be careful! This is a tough school. The debating team has a criminal defense attorney to do the talking for them.'

"Before I say anything, I'd like to have my friend, who wants to be a lawyer when he grows up, present"

"Does school choice include whether he gets a tenured teacher?"

'You missed school today, didn't you?'

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

'What's our exit strategy?'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

'I prefer to call it the student lunch hour, not the feeding frenzy!'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

'That's the bell for round two.'