School Strategizers Gifts

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"He's a psychopath with megalomanic tendencies...I like that in a candidate!"

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

'That's the bell for round two.'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'...All profits are local.'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

'I don't have a dog, but I do have a dog app that eats my homework.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

"I try to get a head start on them."

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

Principal with 'budget cuts' in-tray and 'creative solutions' out-tray.