Schoolwork Strategist Gifts

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

'Well, if you can't be an honor student, can't you at least cheat off one?'

'I didn't cheat doing the assignment. I just outsourced the work to a kid in India. '

'Mom, I forgot my homework. It's in my room. Can you scan it, and sent it to my smartphone? I'll download it to my tablet computer, then print it up in class.'

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"You don't have to eat it. Just lick off the writing."

"He's cleaning his room because he needs some fungi and mold for his biology class."

"Okay, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"Baldo, you never seem to be in a hurry to finish to do your homework."

"Baldo, why aren't you doing your homework?"

"Boy, another load of homework tonight. We need a stronger lobby in congress."

'Mom says she's too busy to read anything right now so I'll just sign her name to my report card.'

Boy and girl discussing thier holiday work tasks

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Do your research!

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"How was work?"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

Good Luck!

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

Child finding school too hard.

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

Walking To School Simulator

A man sitting in the grass reading

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."