School Assignment Strategist Gifts

'I got a B+ formy book report on 'Danger Mountain' by Warren Esterson. Not bad, considering there's no such book.'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Do your research!

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"How was work?"

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

Good Luck!

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

A man sitting in the grass reading

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'...All profits are local.'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

'That's the bell for round two.'

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

'I don't have a dog, but I do have a dog app that eats my homework.'

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."