School Year Strategist Gifts

"It's almost back-to-school time. Steal some office supplies."

"I wonder if Nielsen knows how many demographic units spend September through May in school."

"I've just barbecued my head again."

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

How did you get your parents to send you to Costa Rica this summer, Ingrid? By almost flunking Spanish. That's dire. Hardly! I'll party and practice my accent. Next year�remind me to bring my French grade down. Si!

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

Will eat your homework for $.

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

'That's the bell for round two.'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

'...All profits are local.'

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

'I don't have a dog, but I do have a dog app that eats my homework.'

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

Soccer Moms