Back-to-school Strategist Gifts

"Well... just 5 days, 16 hours and 30 minutes till school starts."

"It's how she gets ready for the end of summer."

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

Walking To School Simulator

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

"I can always tell when the kids go back to school. Everyone is so happy and relaxed."

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'That's the bell for round two.'

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

'...All profits are local.'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

"What I should have done during vacation besides watching video games. . ."

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

'I don't have a dog, but I do have a dog app that eats my homework.'

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

"What a party ... it's filled with back-to-school supplies."

Did You Miss Me?

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

"I try to get a head start on them."

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

"This year, I'm starting school with a positive attitude! You have my word...I'm waiting till the second week of school to call it the worst year of my life."