Strategic Student Gifts

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Do your research!

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"How was work?"

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

How did you get your parents to send you to Costa Rica this summer, Ingrid? By almost flunking Spanish. That's dire. Hardly! I'll party and practice my accent. Next year�remind me to bring my French grade down. Si!

Good Luck!

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

"It's the kind of missile system that says, 'Hey, these peace negotiations aren't really going very well.'"

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

A man sitting in the grass reading

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

'That's the bell for round two.'

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

"Maybe I can be a campaign worker."

'I don't have a dog, but I do have a dog app that eats my homework.'

"I see a flaw in your financial calculation."

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

'I've gotten over my fear of tests, but now I seem to have developed studying anxiety.'

'Motion seconded!' (golfers)

Principal with 'budget cuts' in-tray and 'creative solutions' out-tray.

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

Don't you hate finding out that the kid you copied those test answers from is even dumber than you are.