Academic Strategist Gifts

'The numbers on my report card aren't good, but I question the school's methodology.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

Don't you hate finding out that the kid you copied those test answers from is even dumber than you are.

'No, I didn't study for the test. I only study for every other one. I do just enough to stay out of trouble, but not enough to be labeled gifted. They have to do way too much homework.'

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

'I represent the Student Cafeteria Committee. With finals coming up, we demand more fish on the menu. We hear that's brain food.'

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

'What about number two?'

Boomerang

"He's only got 2 brain cells and one of those is on the blink."

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Pretty Flowers

Eternal Student.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"