Discipline Strategist Gifts

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

Before she disciplined a student, Principal Helen Edelman played recordings of previous visitors to her office.

"Well, in my professional opinion you should advocate for a two day suspension. Long enough for Mrs. Banks to cool down the commotion, but not long enough to get on your parents nerves at home."

"Your fifteen minutes are up. Next time, raise your hand before asking questions."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."