Youth Strategist Gifts

'Uh, oh, ... looks like the board has decided to go after the youth market.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"I've just barbecued my head again."

Do you have any other skills?

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

Barack Obama's To Do list.

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

'Thanks for the promotion offer but I was hoping to sleep my way to the top..'

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"Watch this! All the balls scattered at random around the table."

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."

I rule by fear.

"Where do you see yourself five lives from now?"

'I'm looking for a job that satisfies my lust for power.'

"Jim, say hi to Tom, our severance consultant."

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

'My strength lies in my ability to deny my weaknesses.'

"You're great at hindsight, but we need someone who is more forward looking!"

'My father's recipe for success was honesty and hard-work - luckily, I ignored it.'

"Fellow M.B.A. graduates of the Class of '91—hey, what can I say?"

"You have excellent academic credentials and a wonderful work history but we try not to profile people."