Youth Strategist Pillows

'Uh, oh, ... looks like the board has decided to go after the youth market.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"I've just barbecued my head again."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

Do you have any other skills?

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

Barack Obama's To Do list.

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

'Thanks for the promotion offer but I was hoping to sleep my way to the top..'

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"

"Watch this! All the balls scattered at random around the table."

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

I rule by fear.

'I'm looking for a job that satisfies my lust for power.'

"Where do you see yourself five lives from now?"

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

"Jim, say hi to Tom, our severance consultant."

'My strength lies in my ability to deny my weaknesses.'

"Fellow M.B.A. graduates of the Class of '91—hey, what can I say?"

"You're great at hindsight, but we need someone who is more forward looking!"

'My father's recipe for success was honesty and hard-work - luckily, I ignored it.'

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

"You have excellent academic credentials and a wonderful work history but we try not to profile people."