Youth Sports Strategist Pillows

Zack and Max were injured in scrimmage today. Tough break. Not for me. Teddy! That's not good sportsmanship. It's nothing personal. More injuries and I'll be put in the game! Ahh! A strategic player.

The MBA Draft

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"I AM at my usual position."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

The Other Cooperstown

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

"I love fast break business success."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"Watch this! All the balls scattered at random around the table."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks