Little Sports Strategist Pillows

'Pick up Carlson on the end, he's got proven performance data.'

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'Let's go over our secret play.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

The Other Cooperstown

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"I love fast break business success."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

Snail Coach

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

A boy with a football

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

'Are you blind ref?'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'