Backyard Sports Strategist Pillows

Strikeout Dog

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

Alternative fielding positions

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Perils of the double play.

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

The Other Cooperstown

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"I love fast break business success."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

Will eat your homework for $.

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Are you blind ref?'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."