Sports Strategists Pillows

"If you can get his parents to go ballistic, he can't hit a thing."

"As expected... the call goes in for Scissors."

"If they want it so bad, maybe we should just give it to them."

A pitcher is stranded on the mound.

'It's a prescription for that new sports clinic.'

'Remember 'be the ball'.' 'I am the ball. But apparently, I'm a devious, misguided, malevolent ball.'

'When that bell rings, yank that string THREE TIMES and go into him like a kamikaze pilot!'

Defense Weapon

Defense Not losing Goal Offense Winning

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Alternative fielding positions

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

The Other Cooperstown

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"I love fast break business success."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

Snail Coach

'Are you blind ref?'