Softball Strategist Gifts

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"Your being on the company softball team gives me the opportunity to trade you."

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Perils of the double play.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

The Other Cooperstown

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"I love fast break business success."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

"Watch his feet - if he doesn't step into the throw, he's going to fake it."

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

'Are you blind ref?'