Sport Strategist Gifts

Ice Hockey

"Then I'll yell 'Fore!', you catch it, drop it in the hole with the flag in it, then hustle back so we can finish our meeting on ethics."

Jose Mourinho Caricature.

"Here. He won't be expecting this."

"Hell of a speech, Coach."

I'd like you men to see the X's and O's as hugs and kisses. Coach sure is different since his court-ordered sensitivity training.

'Fore to the 9th power!'

Imran Khan

'Their offense is shifty and often ruthless. I want you to study the videotapes - especially this one showing their quarterback robbing a convenience store at gunpoint.'

...Meanwhile, at the nuclear disarmament talks.

"This is just an interview. There's no need to keep it secret from the other team!"

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

The MBA Draft

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Alternative fielding positions

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Perils of the double play.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

The Other Cooperstown

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'