Sport Strategist Gifts

Ice Hockey

"Hell of a speech, Coach."

'Fore to the 9th power!'

'Their offense is shifty and often ruthless. I want you to study the videotapes - especially this one showing their quarterback robbing a convenience store at gunpoint.'

...Meanwhile, at the nuclear disarmament talks.

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Alternative fielding positions

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

The Other Cooperstown

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"I love fast break business success."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."