Sporting Strategist Gifts

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Rugby Players and Referees.

"Duh!"

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Boxing

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"Come on, Lucky Lady!"

Golfer going into onsite counsellor office

"Look - after paying eight million quid for you, we couldn't afford a new strip."

Boxing Trainer: 'And watch out for this fella. He has a huge Left Hook.'

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

You're right, there's nothing in the rule book about it!

'AAAARRRGGHHHH, I want my mummy.'

Snooker Duel

The MBA Draft

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Alternative fielding positions

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Perils of the double play.

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

The Other Cooperstown

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"I love fast break business success."

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'