Ballpark Philosopher Gifts

'It looks they are enforcing the three strikes law!'

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"I'm bored."

"So, what do you do for play?"

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Recess does things to a man."

Currently Boston

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"What they lose on the swings we gain on the roundabouts."

'I don't have to go to school. My mom teachers me.'

"OK, I'll play outside, but what do I do when I get out of Wi-Fi range?"

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."