Ballpark Philosopher Gifts

'It looks they are enforcing the three strikes law!'

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

I feel like I'm in heaven whenever I come to the ballpark. You like baseball that much? No, the game just seems to go on for eternity.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"I'm bored."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"So, what do you do for play?"

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Recess does things to a man."

Currently Boston

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

"So where do you get all your ideas from?"

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

"What they lose on the swings we gain on the roundabouts."

"OK, I'll play outside, but what do I do when I get out of Wi-Fi range?"

'I don't have to go to school. My mom teachers me.'

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.