'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'
Gridiron Philosopher Gifts
Looking for a gift for a football enthusiast who combines game knowledge with a love for witty insights? Our gridiron philosopher collection blends clever humor and football expertise in mugs, t-shirts, pillows, and prints, making each piece an ode to the intelligent side of the game. Whether they're analyzing plays or just enjoying the sport's tactical beauty, these gifts will speak their language and showcase their passion for football's strategic depths.
Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'
"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."
"Feel free to take notes."
"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"
"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."
"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."
'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'
For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...
Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'
A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.
"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"
The dangerous world of the armchair thinker
Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.
"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."
"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"
'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'
"I should've never studied canon law."
"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."
'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'
Football team discussions.
Input From The Front Office
The Three Kinds of People
"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."
"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."
'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'
"I don't believe in egrets."
'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'
"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"
'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'
Mark Gastineau
"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."
"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"
"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."
"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."
Gridiron Philosopher Gifts Collection
Gridiron Philosopher Mugs
Explore our gridiron philosopher mugs collection—each designed to bring a clever, humorous touch to their game day ritual.
Gridiron Philosopher Pillows
Check out our gridiron philosopher pillows to add a humorous and thoughtful football touch to their living space.
Gridiron Philosopher Prints
Browse our gridiron philosopher art prints—ideal for fans who love to decorate with clever football insights.
Gridiron Philosopher T-Shirts
Discover our gridiron philosopher t-shirts—perfect for showcasing their football wit and wisdom wherever they go.