Punk Philosopher Gifts

Punk monk.

Egads. When played backwards these say things like,listen to your higher power and,respect your parents.

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

Pigeon Little

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

Reverse psychology

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Men gossiping

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

Punkins

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

"Nice haircut."

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

Vivienne Westwood

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"Rapunzel's gone punk."

ONE HORSE TOWN

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'