Punk Philosopher Pillows

Punk monk.

Egads. When played backwards these say things like,listen to your higher power and,respect your parents.

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

Pigeon Little

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Reverse psychology

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

Men gossiping

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"Nice haircut."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

Punkins

ONE HORSE TOWN

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

Brickie's Mate

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'