Punny Philosopher Pillows

'Do you like Indian food?' 'I have my reservations!'

Fish in gaol.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Pigeon Little

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Reverse psychology

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'Is there a God? God knows...'

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

"It's chic to be vulnerable."

"Is it always so cloudy?"

The existentialist manifesto according to Jean-Paul Sinatra-'oooby Dooby Doo!'

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

"What's it all about?"

"The gods aren't angry, Tara. They're just hurt and disappointed."

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

"It Works For Us."

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

'We now have a drug to cure 'writer's block' but a common side effect is plagiaism.'

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.