Battlefield Philosopher Gifts

"How do you stay so calm about the stock market?"

"It doesn't get any better than this."

"I want to apologize for some of the remarks I made during the heat of battle."

"We can deal with terrorists and other enemies. The ones who can really kill us are the politicians at home."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

Winter Weather.

"Do you think the birds like me?"

Future Tents

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

'Heidegger-Hi!'

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

Grass: We lost some good men today!

The Farmer Sutra.

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

"Let me take you back to a dark time when all you could do with a phone was make phone calls."

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

'I became a bit claustrophobic living in a warren all the time: I prefer camping out now...'

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

Dept. de Philosophie

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

"In the Wild Wild West, we say, if it isn't yours, DON'T TAKE IT..."

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

BE.. All that you can BE...