Campground Philosopher Gifts

'And just exactly what would make you a happy camper?'

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"I'm bored."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"So, what do you do for play?"

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"Recess does things to a man."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

Winter Weather.

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

"Do you think the birds like me?"

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

Future Tents

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

'Heidegger-Hi!'

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

"So where do you get all your ideas from?"

The Farmer Sutra.

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

"Let me take you back to a dark time when all you could do with a phone was make phone calls."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"What they lose on the swings we gain on the roundabouts."