Campfire Philosopher Gifts

"Kinda makes you feel insignificant and incredibly hot, doesn't it?"

'I hope i did leave the faucet running so the water will put out the fire from the stove I left on.'

"The system's down."

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

"He says 'fire no rocket science' - whatever that means."

'Heidegger-Hi!'

'Sure, this is great, but don't you think we should be exploring alternative energy sources?'

'I'm sensing a smooth, mellow brightness with hints of chocolate & a touch of citrus. . . you?'

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

"Okay boys, time to maintain a delicate ecological balance between man and beast."

"Ig a skyscraper collapses in the cit and I don't hear it...will we care?"

'They're out there...ranchers, cowboys soda jerks, insurance salesmen...just waiting for our fire to die down.'

Fire Dreams of Microwave.

'I didn't say I wanted to Kindle books - I said I wanted to make kindling of your books!'

Bear bends hunter's guns.

"Y'know, back in my day, we didn't sit inside all the time staring at a fire..."

"Let me take you back to a dark time when all you could do with a phone was make phone calls."

"And because of this one, human indiscretion, the man and wife never trusted each other fully again."

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

Support Group for a Good Problem

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

Desert Island BBQ

A vampire in a canoe.

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

Harsh Mellows.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"... and the sales call was coming from inside the house!"

Camping.