Campfire Gifts

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

Desert Island BBQ

"Great fire, where's my chair?"

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Harsh Mellows.

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

'The Torch Holder'.

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

Pan Extension Chord

Roasting the Moneybox

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

This "fire" invention is taking more wood than we expected. The First Cost Overrun.

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Flash Cuisine

'Heidegger-Hi!'

"Let me take you back to a dark time when all you could do with a phone was make phone calls."

'An no one heard him scream when they screwed on the pump and slowly drained all his vital fluids...'

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

Creepy Camp Stories.

Nobody likes a smore loser

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."