Campfire Gifts

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

Desert Island BBQ

"Great fire, where's my chair?"

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

Harsh Mellows.

Pan Extension Chord

'The Torch Holder'.

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

Roasting the Moneybox

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Flash Cuisine

'Heidegger-Hi!'

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

Nobody likes a smore loser

Creepy Camp Stories.

'An no one heard him scream when they screwed on the pump and slowly drained all his vital fluids...'

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

"Let me take you back to a dark time when all you could do with a phone was make phone calls."

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

'Is the fire included?'

'Here go, Thegla... It recipe you ask for.'

'Come on kids - it's just a story!'