Campfire Fanatic Gifts

"Hey, where’s your cat?"

Desert Island BBQ

Harsh Mellows.

'The Torch Holder'.

Roasting the Moneybox

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

Fish flipping flapjack in pan. Title: 'Ed was glad he'd caught a panfish.'

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"Well, I'm not a lone wolf on purpose! I was separated from my pack over three months ago and I can't find it again. . ."

Flash Cuisine

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

'An no one heard him scream when they screwed on the pump and slowly drained all his vital fluids...'

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

Creepy Camp Stories.

Nobody likes a smore loser

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

Talk about quiet. I didn't even hear them move in last night.

'Is the fire included?'

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

"First camping trip, Billy?"

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

Marshmallow Roast

Man around campfire Title: 'Ed is a fisherman who never lies. He tells all his stories sitting up.'

"Richard P. Ruggles—a man and his mantelpiece."

'Uh, Jake, I believe that should be 'and the skies are not cloudy all day,' not 'and we pour ourselves more Chardonnary.''