Campfire Aficionados Gifts

“The children claimed to love nature, even as they warmed themselves by roasting the dismembered limbs of the tree’s mother.”

Desert Island BBQ

Sausages.

'Mom! This high resolution screen makes it seem like you're really outdoors!'

"Lori, out here it's my kitchen!"

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

Roasting the Moneybox

'The Torch Holder'.

"Oh Wow! Shooting star!"

Fish flipping flapjack in pan. Title: 'Ed was glad he'd caught a panfish.'

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

Relaxing in front of a fire.

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"But Mom, you said it was a pup tent!"

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

Flash Cuisine

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

Creepy Camp Stories.

Nobody likes a smore loser

'Is the fire included?'

It's great to get away from it all, except for the crowds.

Marshmallow Roast

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'