Campfire Enthusiast Gifts

Flash Cuisine

'The campfire's down and I can't send any messages. Call IT.'

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Is the fire included?'

"...and drop those two sticks, you idiot!"

"Turns out the sound of the squeaky toy was coming from inside the house."

'Let's face it, Dwight. This is as high in the need pyramid as we're going to get tonight!'

Reality Show Host

'Frank, I can't find my glasses, have you seen them?'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Beware Electric Fence.

Creepy Camp Stories.

A crematorium for marshmallows.

Global Warming

"The phrase 'you can't go home again' sure rings true once you've faked your own death."

"No! My parents told me to never smoke."

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"You ain't cooking with sage again, are yeh? I reckon I'm getting purdy darned tired of sage."

Dragon toasts marshmallows

"I thought we could spend some father-son time together...you know, to talk about fishing, starting a campfire, dating, girls..."

Roasting the Moneybox

Werewolf Campfire

"Great fire, where's my chair?"

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

"Indigenous? More like ingenious, to survive out here!"

"It's no good, I can't get a signal."

"First camping trip, Billy?"

"I'm here to assess the camp fire safety."

Bass Camp

"Things are getting better, but we are not out of the woods yet."

"Willy, wake up! I figured out how to light my cigarette with a stick from the fire!"

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

Vlad The Impaler's Descendants,

"In my day, we froze to death, but we were happy."

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"