Campfire Critic Gifts

"Do you think teaching him fire building is a good idea?"

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Harsh Mellows.

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

This "fire" invention is taking more wood than we expected. The First Cost Overrun.

'The Torch Holder'.

Roasting the Moneybox

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Fish flipping flapjack in pan. Title: 'Ed was glad he'd caught a panfish.'

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

Campground Conductor

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

Flash Cuisine

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

'Heidegger-Hi!'

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

Have food. Need toilet paper

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

Creepy Camp Stories.

"Let me take you back to a dark time when all you could do with a phone was make phone calls."

Nobody likes a smore loser

'Is the fire included?'

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

"I'll make a deal with you! If you stop singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat, I'll help you finish your requirements!"