Campfire Critic Gifts

"Do you think teaching him fire building is a good idea?"

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Harsh Mellows.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Roasting the Moneybox

'The Torch Holder'.

Fish flipping flapjack in pan. Title: 'Ed was glad he'd caught a panfish.'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

Campground Conductor

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

Flash Cuisine

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

'Heidegger-Hi!'

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

Nobody likes a smore loser

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

Have food. Need toilet paper

"Let me take you back to a dark time when all you could do with a phone was make phone calls."

Creepy Camp Stories.

'Is the fire included?'

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

"I'll make a deal with you! If you stop singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat, I'll help you finish your requirements!"