Campfire Musician Gifts

"Oh, well. Guess I'll have to unpack my accordion."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

Desert Island BBQ

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

Harsh Mellows.

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Roasting the Moneybox

'The Torch Holder'.

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Campground Conductor

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

Flash Cuisine

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

Creepy Camp Stories.

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

Have food. Need toilet paper

'Is the fire included?'

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

My Musical Influences

"First camping trip, Billy?"

Marshmallow Roast

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

"I'll make a deal with you! If you stop singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat, I'll help you finish your requirements!"

Man around campfire Title: 'Ed is a fisherman who never lies. He tells all his stories sitting up.'