Campfire Comedians Gifts

"When we left off last night, we were on page 15 of the National Intelligence Estimate. "

"They're veggie hot dogs but don't worry—they're made in a really gross way."

The army surplus blanket is great! I never thought you'd be engaged in a government cover-up.

Bear: 'Oh YUM, Burritos!'

Bones barbecue.

'It sounds like the Zulu Standup Comic tribe is restless tonight! I hear rimshots!'

'Didn't I tell you we'd be eating fish tonight? Doug's fish fry delivers!'

Accountants around the campfire.

"It never fails...as soon as it's time to clean up everyone leaves!"

"Harold! Are you awake? I think you've left your torch on."

"Yes, dear, I'm having a wonderful time! We're sitting around the campfire whittling our 2H #4 hard lead pencils!"

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Support Group for a Good Problem

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

A vampire in a canoe.

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

Camping.

"... and the sales call was coming from inside the house!"

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'Dad! Dad! Dad!!. . . We lost our signal.'

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'One of the first rules, kids, be sure to watch where you step.'

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."