Campfire Comedian Gifts

"To hell with the call of the wild, all I want to hear is the call of the can opener."

'Meat again! That's the last dinosaur I kill.'

'In case of fire' box with a sausage on a stick inside.

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

"We're out of peppers, so I threw in a scorpion to spice up our stew."

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

'I see Mr. Invention is at it again -- we'd better start holding regular fire drills.'

"Dad! Have you been taking clothes from other people's campsites again?"

'No. This is our top-of-the-line lightweight hiking tent. It's meant to be tight.

There was a good reason Geppetto invited Pinocchio on his camping trips.

Western Fleas.

Zombie Camping Menu Planning

"What do you think? Would flaming marshmallows make good torches?"

Passive-aggressive mother bears were the worst.

"I'm helping the scouts with requirements on this campout."

Have food. Need toilet paper

'Ooh, look at Ned. He must be practicing for some sort of shadow puppet competition.'

"Would any of you guys be offended if I told a joke that is a touch prurient?"

'You idiot!! I said to use kindling to start the fire!'

'It's hard to get a message out from here. I've only got one log.'

'So what if Tex is sitting on your log? Pick out a new one!'

Bull chasing campers, "You and your camping holidays for fresh air and excersize!"

'Whoa! Feel that breeze? Fresh air!'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

Support Group for a Good Problem

A vampire in a canoe.

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"