Campfire Singer Gifts

Scouting just hasn't been the same since Troop 90 found a long enough extension cord so they could sing around the microwave.

My Musical Influences

Inside the hippocampus.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Desert Island BBQ

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

Campground Conductor

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

Have food. Need toilet paper

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

"I'll make a deal with you! If you stop singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat, I'll help you finish your requirements!"

"I'm sorry, Frank. I know it's more environmentally friendly but your new campfire program really doesn't provide the right atmopshere."

Another Rookie Mistake

"Sssh! - Did you hear a noise??"

"What do you think? Would flaming marshmallows make good torches?"

Accountants around the campfire.

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

'No. This is our top-of-the-line lightweight hiking tent. It's meant to be tight.

"When we left off last night, we were on page 15 of the National Intelligence Estimate. "

Zombie Camping Menu Planning

Rotisserie Chicken Rope Maker

Bull chasing campers, "You and your camping holidays for fresh air and excersize!"

"We've decided to try role-swapping."

Bear: 'Oh YUM, Burritos!'

The army surplus blanket is great! I never thought you'd be engaged in a government cover-up.

'I see Mr. Invention is at it again -- we'd better start holding regular fire drills.'

'Meat again! That's the last dinosaur I kill.'

Passive-aggressive mother bears were the worst.

'Ooh, look at Ned. He must be practicing for some sort of shadow puppet competition.'