Campfire Humorist Gifts

'Him say him need more beans.'

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

'This is my second in command, boys, and she's coming on the camping trip.'

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Support Group for a Good Problem

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

A vampire in a canoe.

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"... and the sales call was coming from inside the house!"

Camping.

'One of the first rules, kids, be sure to watch where you step.'

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

Sunny with a chance of Helium

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

'Doris,I told you not to use that sweet smelling Hair spray.'

"And every year on this very day...he creeps into camp and steals everyones electronics."

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

'This is not fair, mom. . . none of my friends is forced to hibernate before December.'

'Relax, the largest thing around here that can harm you is an ant.'

Camping with Mr. Thorough

Now that we've got all the mosquitoes trapped in here, let's sleep out there.

Jim Morrison Goes Camping