Camping Skeptic Gifts

"I didn't say I hated camping - I said I didn't understand camping."

Math Camp. I should have read the brochure more carefully before I signed up -- It says "Go on an add-venture and have sum fun"!

I think it's so cute when the kids camp out in the backyard.

Future Tents

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

"Well, I'm not a lone wolf on purpose! I was separated from my pack over three months ago and I can't find it again. . ."

Blowing up the camping mattress.

"No religious nuts!"

Talk about quiet. I didn't even hear them move in last night.

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"Carol, our guests are here, along with the complete L.L. Bean catalogue."

Wild, Wacky, Wild and Wacky

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"My husband won't do Florida - too sunny. He's afraid of falling asleep on the beach and waking up 75-years-old."

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

Senior Investment Analyst R.G. Thornhill glimpses the Universe in a grain of sand and is not impressed.

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

'Just stop for a minute. Smell that pine scent. Drink in the view. I don't think we could pick a better site for our 'Mega-Mall'!'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

'And just exactly what would make you a happy camper?'

'Alan spends a few hours a day in his hunting blind. It helps him deal with his end of hunting season withdrawal!'

"Do we have an 'On Launch' command?!"

"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."

'I'll bet this would be more fun on a computer.'

'For heaven's sake! We're only going to the caravan for a week!'

Stanley Middleton

'Nature makes me nervous!'

'Before you ask I think your blog's crap.'

'About time... my parents are keeping me here against my will.'

"I hate the beach. The minute you go into the water your phone gets ruined."

Jimmy's monsters go on vacation.

Axel, I understand some hacker hijacked your blog and demanded ransom money before returning control to you. True, Lance. However, I refused to pay, and he discovered what a complete waste of time blogging is. After further negotiations, he actually ended up paying me to take it back.

"So is this the fun part, or will there be even bigger bugs sticking to my face soon?"

"Who's up for archery waivers?"