Vacation Skeptic Gifts

'I told you these Time Share properties were a rip off!'

'I can't wait to get this holiday of a lifetime over so I can get back to my banal existence.'

Senior Investment Analyst R.G. Thornhill glimpses the Universe in a grain of sand and is not impressed.

"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."

"Worst. . . timeshare. . . ever."

'About time... my parents are keeping me here against my will.'

"My husband won't do Florida - too sunny. He's afraid of falling asleep on the beach and waking up 75-years-old."

"George, that view in the brochure? It was painted on."

"I hate the beach. The minute you go into the water your phone gets ruined."

Stanley Middleton

Holiday time.

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Tourists in Egypt

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

"You wanted a romantic getaway, so...get away."

Summertime.

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

The Airport.

The Desert Island Package

Whale Watch: 'They migrate here each winter in search of souvenirs.'

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized we need a vacation.'

"Honey, run!"

Workaholic on a cruise

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats."

Commuter on the Orient Express

"Alright girls, let's go back to the pasture before the farmer realizes I let you go to the beach today..."

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

Death Takes A Time-Share

You need to relax. Take this prescription to any travel agent.

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

'I need a Vacation.'

Florida Golf.

'I need a vacation, Ms. Sims. I'm tired of the same old things day after day.'