Skeptical Traveler Gifts

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

"Welcome to the new Drone 747, remotely controlled from a rented office in Calcutta."

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"Hell: The Airport"

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

Are we evolved yet? Are we evolved yet? Are we evolved yet?

Stonehenge Books

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

"My husband won't do Florida - too sunny. He's afraid of falling asleep on the beach and waking up 75-years-old."

"The sky isn't really falling -- I'm just trying to make a living."

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

Left and Right: Please be consistent.

Your own tedious thoughts next 200 miles

Michel de Montaigne

'If this isn't a placebo you gave me, how come it says 'M&M' on it?'

Senior Investment Analyst R.G. Thornhill glimpses the Universe in a grain of sand and is not impressed.

"You're not gonna stick that thing in my arm..! Nobody knows what's in it!!"

I believe their products are rubbish.

'What's going on here? What you see is what I get, and what I see is what you get.'

Monitoring the Air Quality

"My mind is plenty open, Grandma. But not so much that my brain falls out."

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

"Why does your all-knowing, all-powerful god need marketing?"

'George, are you SURE this is the seminar we signed up for? I haven't heard a single word about managing cash flow in a small business!'

"OK, just between you and me: The free will thing? What was your angle in all that?"