Cautious Traveler Gifts

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

"We'd prefer the sort of place where we won't catch any disfiguring diseases or be killed by fanatics."

Excess Baggage: When in doubt about eating something sold by a street vendor when you're away from home...Don't.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

No Immediate Danger

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

Are we evolved yet? Are we evolved yet? Are we evolved yet?

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

Stonehenge Books

A cow is trying to hitchhike away from the slaughterhouse.

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

'Couldn't you plant your tree before you fly?'

During a snowfall, it's always best to slow down a bit.

'I'd like to play, but I'm afraid it might void my warranty.'

Them/ Us

Tortoise Goes For A Swim

"On reflection, it might be prudent to leave this one till last..."

"They say there's no cannibalism on the island, but they're willing to give it a try."

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

"Okay, guys. Don't open your chutes till I give the word."

Height barrier accident.

'Hmmm, this is too good to be true: I can smell a rat...'

'You should try to be more spontaneous.' 'I shall. When I'm good and ready.'

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten out genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

Migration to the Netherlands

Freeway exits: Should, Woulda, Coulda.

"Welcome to the new Drone 747, remotely controlled from a rented office in Calcutta."

'Benny wanted a closed casket service...but, since you traveled so far to be here...I can give you a quick peek for ten dollars.'

"Nothing beats going abroad to discover new types of cheese: you have to try Camel Cheese!"

Gymnast on balancing beam about to slip on a banana skin.

Carl's Glass- Bottom Bus Tours

'Mom says if you're going to buy anything online,I'm supposed to make sure it's a secure site.'