Safety-conscious Traveler Gifts

We'd like to bring our own parachutes...just in case.

Don't forget to pack your Kevlar bikini...only kidding.

They're watching a documentary about safety razors. Sounds like a Schick flick!

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

Don't be afraid, dear. It's safer than driving.

"I always like to have plenty of 'walking around' nuts."

The sound of a crackling fire licking at seasoned logs...

What?

During a snowfall, it's always best to slow down a bit.

"Funnily enough, although Rex said I was "too chicken to try", I made the sensible choice..."

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

Product Recall (aeroplane)

'It says, 'Get back on the tour bus'.'

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

Scenic Overlook and Hell Hole

Woman buying a 'Steak and Donkey' pie from supermarket.

Texting kills

"At this time I'd like to ask you to remain calm, fasten your seat belt and flap your arms just as fast as you can."

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

'Boss, when fuel prices go down, will we go back to using our corporate jet again?'

Budget airline charging extra for an oxygen tank.

Immodiu, Ibruprofen, Clarityn, Sudofed, Paracetemol, Nurofen, Rennies, Diareze... - 'What are you doing?' - 'Packing for my holiday to Egypt.' - 'How ill are you planning on being, exactly?' - 'Ah, that reminds me... can I borrow a bucket from you for a

'O.K, Everyone let's do some yoga!'

Caution: New Year Under Construction - Enter At Own Risk.

'Careful, there's on helluva riptide.'

'If you're teaching him how to drive, what are you doing back there?'

Misty could always get down from even the tallest tree

"We'd prefer the sort of place where we won't catch any disfiguring diseases or be killed by fanatics."

"Can you suggest some place where the dollar goes far but they don't want to kill us?"

"...And will you run over each other with cars and trucks and smash each other against walls in good times and in bad times?"

'This is sensational, Madam...in fact, it comes with a complimentary pepper spray!'

"It's mostly my medications and adjustable mattress."

'I was less stressed before we came on holiday.'

"I don't think it's safe to travel yet"