Safety-conscious Traveler Pillows

We'd like to bring our own parachutes...just in case.

Don't forget to pack your Kevlar bikini...only kidding.

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

"I always like to have plenty of 'walking around' nuts."

The sound of a crackling fire licking at seasoned logs...

During a snowfall, it's always best to slow down a bit.

"Funnily enough, although Rex said I was "too chicken to try", I made the sensible choice..."

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

Product Recall (aeroplane)

'It says, 'Get back on the tour bus'.'

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

Scenic Overlook and Hell Hole

Woman buying a 'Steak and Donkey' pie from supermarket.

Texting kills

"At this time I'd like to ask you to remain calm, fasten your seat belt and flap your arms just as fast as you can."

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

'Boss, when fuel prices go down, will we go back to using our corporate jet again?'

Budget airline charging extra for an oxygen tank.

'O.K, Everyone let's do some yoga!'

Caution: New Year Under Construction - Enter At Own Risk.

'If you're teaching him how to drive, what are you doing back there?'

'Careful, there's on helluva riptide.'

Misty could always get down from even the tallest tree

"It's mostly my medications and adjustable mattress."

"Think again, Bob. Crossing a road is already dangerous enough, but crossing a highway borders on suicidal..."

"I don't think it's safe to travel yet"

'How about that -- thw weather service and the economic forecast have both issued travel warnings.'

'I was less stressed before we came on holiday.'

"...And will you run over each other with cars and trucks and smash each other against walls in good times and in bad times?"

"Can you suggest some place where the dollar goes far but they don't want to kill us?"

'This is sensational, Madam...in fact, it comes with a complimentary pepper spray!'

"We'd prefer the sort of place where we won't catch any disfiguring diseases or be killed by fanatics."