Vacation Skeptics Gifts

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats."

Holiday time.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

The Desert Island Package

Whale Watch: 'They migrate here each winter in search of souvenirs.'

Workaholic on a cruise

"I'd rather be at the office."

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

Death Takes A Time-Share

"My husband won't do Florida - too sunny. He's afraid of falling asleep on the beach and waking up 75-years-old."

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

Senior Investment Analyst R.G. Thornhill glimpses the Universe in a grain of sand and is not impressed.

'The shrink said my holiday was hereditary - my family.'

How to recognize a German tourist...

"We'll see you soon, kids! Your mother and I have won a romantic cruise for two on some man's huge ark."

'It'll be a working vacation.'

Hiker and the Rodents.

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

Academics At the Beach

'It's a good thing Dad's with us - We could have been in trouble by ourselves!'

"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."

"My husband and I have been unsuccessful in booking our holiday over the internet"

"Welcome to the new Drone 747, remotely controlled from a rented office in Calcutta."

Stanley Middleton

Sign pointing to the beach and in the direction of mobile phones.

Southwest Hampton

'Maybe now you'll admit that we're lost!?'

"Without question, you're a big improvement on our last tour rep."

'Don't worry. I have no intention of drinking the water.'

SS Norovirus of the Seas.

"I've never been much of a beach guy."

"I didn't say I hated camping - I said I didn't understand camping."

"Not only do I need an escape to the beach, I need to escape the beach with a book about someone escaping their life."