Vacation Lamenters Gifts

We've the devil on one side and the deep blue sea on the other...'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked."

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

Whale Watch: 'They migrate here each winter in search of souvenirs.'

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats."

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

"What I Had Done Over My Summer Vacation."

"My husband won't do Florida - too sunny. He's afraid of falling asleep on the beach and waking up 75-years-old."

Death Takes A Time-Share

'How did our ‘Get Away From It All' vacation turn into a ‘Take Most Of It With You' long weekend?'

Senior Investment Analyst R.G. Thornhill glimpses the Universe in a grain of sand and is not impressed.

There's always so much catching up to do after vacation.

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

'Tut. Now I suppose we'll have to hear all about her holiday!'

Lost luggage turning up on Mars.

'My wife isn't really a morning person.'

'Umm...guys, this isn't tanning spray.'

A school master water skiing in Bermuda shorts.

"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."

'Maybe now you'll admit that we're lost!?'

Southwest Hampton

Stanley Middleton

Man fishing with rod with multiple lines.

"The first day back is always the worst."

'Is it out of order or out of money?'

"I hate the beach. The minute you go into the water your phone gets ruined."

'About time... my parents are keeping me here against my will.'

Can I press you to a fruity punch?

'I can't wait to get this holiday of a lifetime over so I can get back to my banal existence.'

'I told you these Time Share properties were a rip off!'

Have a great trip! A whole week with no kids! It's good for them to get along without us! Ooh � A text from Twig. They're passing their first gas station. At this rate � Only 2,473 text messages until they arrive. Their first cow.

I hate the beach.

"Somehow this isn't the worst cruise I've ever been on."