Vacation Moaner Gifts

"The hotel was old and rotten, the service was lousy, but my wife really enjoyed the vacation because she had so much to moan about!"

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

'He lives for his holidays.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

Time for vacation, time for work.

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

Try me/try me/try me...

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

Summertime

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"We're here to experience pleasure."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

'What do you mean...You feel uncomfortable asking for time off?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

Old Macdonald's Hawaiian farm..

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

'See you in two weeks!'

"I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked."

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

"I'll be on vacation until I find my cell phone."

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'